The Skinny: On Jeans

 When you’re shopping for new clothes, there are a few deciding factors that lead you to finding that perfect outfit, right? Brand, style, color, fabric, price tag, etc. are all very important in their own right, but none of them hold the make-it-or-break-it power of the FIT!

Jeans are the most common culprit when it comes to ill-fitting clothing. A lot of times the problem is that women want to wear what’s in style or keep with the current trends, without any thought of how that particular style looks on her body type. It’s a sad thing when a pair of $300 True Religion jeans create a muffin-top that catches more attention than the jeans themselves.  Is it a crime to have a couple extra lb’s stored in the ol’ midsection? Of course not. Is it a crime for those extra lb’s to be allowed to hang freely over a pair of too-small, super-low-rise jeans? Yes.Yes it is.

Luckily there are so many styles of jeans on the market that any woman of any shape or size should be able to find a flattering pair. It just takes a little work. The key is trying on different brands, styles and sizes to figure out what looks best on you. It’s all about hiding the flaws and accentuating your best parts.

Aside from ensuring that the clothes themselves are actually the right size, there are a few tricks to creating an illusion of a more proportioned body.

Large Hips: Wide-leg or slightly flared jeans will balance out the lower half and will draw some attention away from the hip area. Skinny jeans are definitely a no-no for a hippy girl!

Tummy Pooch: If you have to worry about tucking your roll back into your jeans every time you sit down, you are in need of a higher-waisted pair of jeans. Yes, low-rise is the most popular style today, but luckily many of the shirts on the rack right now are long enough that the top of your jeans shouldn’t show anyway.

Big Booty: A slightly higher waist is also best for large derrière. Not only will a higher waist help play down the too-much-junk in your trunk; it also protects onlookers from getting an eyeful of plumbers crack. (P.S. It doesn’t matter how bootylicious your booty may be, crack is always bad.)

Tiny Hiney: Obviously the polar opposite of the above body issue, Tiny Hiney is a condition that is best treated with low rise, snug fitting jeans. Anything high-waisted will leave you looking like you have mom-butt and anything “boyfriend” style or loose fitting will leave you with no hiney to speak of.

Once you are dedicated to finding the perfect pair of jeans, it will become easier to know where to shop and what to look for. For instance, a thin, straight bodied girl will have no luck shopping at New York & Co. Their clothes run big and are made for more of a shapely, womanly body. On the same note, a curvy girl will have a hard time trying to squeeze into Hollister jeans. They are the epitome of a “juniors” fit.

Above all, just remember that so many body flaws can be perfectly camouflaged by simply wearing clothes that fit. Look in the 3 way mirror, check for rolls or any other unflattering bulges, and if all else fails, buy some Spanx!



Filed under She Says

7 responses to “The Skinny: On Jeans

  1. I am currently hiding a “mommy tummy” and have found that The Dreamer jeans at Old Navy do a great job of disguising it! They do have a higher rise, but that is just what I need. And they are affordable too.

  2. Uh, big booty is simply “junk in the trunk,” not “too much junk in the trunk.”

    Great post, I dread shopping for jeans!

  3. Nah, a little junk in the trunk is a good thing(think Jessica Beal), but too much junk in the trunk(think Kim Kardashian) is not such a good thing !! Ha! 🙂

  4. haha…jemellia! I think my “junk” hovers somewhere between too much and not enough. Maybe it all depends on the jeans! 🙂

  5. i want high waisted jeans sooo bad… however, they make me look ridiculous. fun post!

  6. katie – you couldn’t look ridiculous if you tried!

  7. Quid–what junk do you have?? And you are right about Katie looking ridiculous, can’t be done.

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